Have you worried for the last year or so that your marriage could end? Do you wonder if your spouse wants a divorce? People often keep themselves up at night, going over everything, trying to figure out exactly where they stand.
Every marriage is different, but there are some specific warning signs you can watch out for. Below are eight of the most common red flags.
1. Financial problems
Stress about money really impacts a marriage. It could be simple stress due to a lack of income, or it could be self-created stress from something like a gambling addiction.
Being alone sometimes is not a bad thing, but an overwhelming sense of loneliness, even when you are married, shows that something is wrong with the relationship. You're not getting something that you need from your partner.
3. Intimacy fades
Couples do not all share the same level of intimacy, and it's fine to have times where you're busy or life gets in the way. The problem comes when there is just no physical connection at all and it never returns.
4. Avoiding fights
This red flag may seem surprising. Wouldn't fighting be the problem? It can be, especially when it goes too far, but some couples are so nervous to "rock the boat" that they stay silent and never say anything controversial. You may just be holding it all in until a lot of little things cause an epic falling out.
5. You do not like being together
Spending time together no longer makes you happy or even content. You constantly wish you could do something else. Maybe you find excuses to stay away from home.
Some experts claim that highly-visible relationships, even if they seem good, are really just overcompensating. If your social media feeds are full of pictures and posts about how great things are going, that's a warning sign that things are actually falling apart. It could show that you know it and feel insecure, whereas people who are secure in their relationships have no need to share so much.
7. Unhappiness lingers
Your unhappiness stretches back for months or years. It's not just a minor issue, a momentary displeasure with something that happened. You are deeply and fundamentally unhappy.
8. Neither of you will seek help
You refuse to talk to each other about your issues. You will not go to a counselor. You do not want to bring it up with family and friends, and you end those conversations quickly when others start them. This could indicate that you already think you can't save the marriage.
If you and your spouse do end up filing for a divorce, make sure you are well aware of your rights.