Eric S. Neumann, APLC
More Than 25 Years Of Family Law Experience
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Good divorce behavior pays off

A divorce can bring out the worst in a married couple and complicate the fair and expeditious ending of their case. Mature and ethical behavior, however, can help eliminate conflict and allow for a quicker resolution without unnecessarily upsetting their children.

A divorce should be considered as a business transaction that avoids emotional or personal disputes. Communication between the couple should take place through text messaging or email and only when needed. These messages must be short and objective. A spouse should only respond to the questions asked by their spouse and not expand their conversation. Constant discussion about the reasons for their separation can only lead to additional rancor.

It is important to keep emotions under control by avoiding arguments and ending emotional, verbal and physical closeness with a soon-to-be former spouse. Both spouses should respect each other's physical and emotional boundaries. Going through belongings can cause trouble. Recording or tracking conversations without permission violates privacy and can also cause legal problems.

A standard and non-critical reason for the end of the marriage is the best explanation for their children, friends and families. It should avoid causing shame, embarrassment or unnecessary negative attention. Harming the other spouse's friendships or family relationships or spreading rumors is wrong.

The parents' joint dealings with the children should take place in a safe location. The other spouse must be treated with respect in front of the children and criticism and rumor spreading is wrong. Their contact and communication with the other spouse must not be restricted or monitored.

A parent should only answer questions the children ask about the divorce. Providing details on the separation, finances or support may cause unnecessary anguish. A parent should communicate daily with their children when they are not with them to assure them that they are loved and supported.

Many times, legal advice may help a spouse decide issues during and after a divorce, such as visitation, support or mediation. They can also assure that a spouse's rights are protected, and their behavior does not cause complications.

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