Eric S. Neumann, APLC
More Than 25 Years Of Family Law Experience
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Stress from divorce might transfer to your children

The stress of divorce can have an impact on everyone involved. Controlling the level of stress that you have to deal with is only manageable to a certain extent. The way you handle what you are given can be fully controlled.

As you work through the divorce, make sure that you are considering how the process is impacting your children. Helping them figure out how to handle the situation can be difficult but it can assist them in determining what methods they are going to use for similar circumstances and stressful situations in the future. Here are some points to consider:

Stress is contagious

Your children are going to feel your stress. Instead of passing it along to them, you need to find ways that you can cope with the stress of the divorce without involving them. You might want to find someone to watch them while you are handling these matters. Remember that you may need to take a few extra minutes to collect yourself and your thoughts after each divorce-related encounter wth your ex.

Choose stress-relieving methods

Find stress-relieving methods that work for your needs. These practices can include your children. One idea is to find a place where parents and children can do yoga. This can help your children learn how to center themselves, which is also a good lesson for adults. If you aren't up for going to a class, find videos online and do the stretches at home. This is available whenever you need instead of having to wait for a specific time.

Set the routine

Being unorganized can be stressful. As soon as possible after the divorce, set your schedule. This will likely vary from day to day, but you should have a basic idea of what is going to happen. Children thrive on stability and consistency. The schedule set for daily tasks like meals and similar tasks can help them to settle in.

Remain flexible

It might seem odd to say to be flexible after advising to set up a routine. While it is important to have a routine, you must be willing to deviate from that when necessary. These deviations should be uncommon, but they will help your children learn how to cope with unexpected changes. This is a skill that can help them throughout life and might even help you when it comes to alterations in the parenting plan.

As you work on keeping the stress down, you might realize that the parenting plan is a big part of this goal. The parenting plan should put your children first, so you should think about a modification if it does not reflect this priority as well as it should.

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