Eric S. Neumann, APLC
More Than 25 Years Of Family Law Experience
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Focus your thinking, actions and words for success

When you are co-parenting, there are several ways that you might negatively impact the situation. It isn't always easy to realize what is going on, especially when you've fallen into a rut with your thinking and actions. It is important to try to have a good attitude and do things that are going to help the situation.

One issue that can cause problems when you co-parent is having all-or-nothing thinking. You can't let the negativity rule your life when it comes to having to deal with situations related to your parenting. It is best to remain flexible and keep a positive outlook.

Think about the future, not the past

You can't base what you expect for the future on what happened in the past. Instead, determine what changes may be in order to make improvements down the road. When you get into the habit of thinking that everything is going to go wrong because it did in the past, you can't enjoy the positive aspects of the situation. Your mode of thinking can make a big difference on how your life unfolds from here.

Remain flexible and willing to adjust to the situation

Inflexibility can lead to serious problems. Co-parenting your children isn't going to allow you to always follow the exact same schedule or to never have to adjust to changes. When you are flexible and embracing changes as they come, you can help your child to see that they can do the same. You will probably find that your attitude improves as you work on being more flexible. Sometimes, the inner dialogue you have when you need to make changes can cause you to see the situation as worse than what it is.

Listen to what you say and focus on what you think

Your words and thoughts can also shape what happens in a situation. You have to pay close attention to how you say things. Even if the words aren't negative, the tone of voice and inflection might signal otherwise. If you notice that you are speaking harshly or negatively or that your thoughts are trending there, you should take a few minutes to refocus.

Remember that your children are watching you. The way you behave can shape how they handle situations now and in the future.

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