When you married your spouse, the vows during your ceremony likely included a promise to remain faithful, as well as a vow to stay together for the rest of your lives. However, when one spouse violates the promise of fidelity, the vow of a lifetime commitment may no longer feel real or reasonable to either spouse. Cheating is a common reason people file for divorce.
Many people who catch their spouse cheating feel shock and anger. In fact, they may go through a number of emotional reactions similar to the grieving process. Sometimes, the one cheating will file for divorce because they want to start a new life. Other times, they are contrite and want to make their marriage work.
If you caught your spouse having an affair, whether it was a one-night stand or an ongoing, intimate relationship, you may already think that divorce is the solution, despite their desire to reconcile things with you. How can you determine if your marriage is salvageable after infidelity?
Your emotions will be a major factor
Having an intense emotional reaction to an affair is completely normal. For some couples, therapy and re-commitment can help them work through the fallout of adultery and rebuild a better relationship. For others, it may be impossible to forgive and forget. Only you truly know your own feelings on the matter.
Do you believe it is possible to move on and forgive your spouse, or do you think you will always carry a sense of anger and betrayal over the affair? If you truly can't forgive, then your marriage is essentially over. You will do little more than make each other miserable if you continue a marriage only out of a sense of obligation with resentment in your heart.
A postnuptial agreement could give you a reason to stay in the marriage for now
If your spouse swears the infidelity was an isolated incident or they promise it will never happen, you may feel inclined to give them a second chance at making your marriage work. That is your prerogative, but you should also take steps to protect yourself.
Executing a postnuptial agreement that includes an expectation of fidelity and a fiscal consequence in the event of repeated infidelity by your spouse could help you feel secure in giving your partner a second chance, while also protecting you if they fail to follow through on their promises.
Consulting with a family law attorney in Lafayette can help you make a rational decision
If you still aren't quite sure about what your best option is in your current circumstance, it may be time to sit down with a family law attorney. The advice that they give you can guide you in the decisions you make as you respond to an affair that your spouse had.